08 April 2009

Scooter

I took my scooter into the shop to have the guy look at it. I was a bit miffed since I just bought it a couple of days ago, but found that after fifteen minutes it just died. Here is the conversation. He spoke only rapid-fire Korean, so I provide what I assume must be an accurate translation based on body language.

Me: "I bought this yesterday. It doesn't work. It goes like this: Vrrrooooommmmmmmmmm put put put ssssssssssss."
Mechanic: "[Foolish person, what did you do to it? It works fine. It's probably the] battery [and you probably did it, which is why I am pointing at you, making driving motions, and scowling.]"
Me: "Okay, but I didn't do anything. Please look at it."
Mechanic: "[Okay I put some jumper cables on it and it starts fine. Here, I'll just drive off and show you. I'll be back in three minutes.]"

A half hour later, he returns, pushing the scooter along.

Mechanic: "[Well, I guess I'm a jackass. Let me get to work.]"
Me: "Isn't that the spark plug? Wait, and the breakers? You're pulling off many things, there."
Mechanic: "[I just like to pull off engine parts and throw them in this pile on the floor. Hey, want to see what it looks like when someone empties oil into a bucket and then dumps it in the sewer? It looks just like this.]"
Me: "Oh. Oh my."
Mechanic: "[I can never show this or give any indication, but I yearn for you. We meet only in passing at this instant, but it will leave an indelible touch on my soul. Many times in the years to come, I will look into the rainbow spread of oil on water outside of my shop and think of you. You see my wife, over there? The one meticulously copying sentences from her Bible into a text message on her cell phone? Just end her. Oh, and I am going to perform an] oil changee. [Crush her, and then we can be together. Then... then we can be free.]"
Me: "We can never be. But thank you. Kansamnida."

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