12 July 2009

Roger Simon Is Still Terrible

This guy is Politico's Chief Political Columnist. And he is majestically and magnificently terrible. His awfulness is hard to believe, soaring mightily over the poorness of lesser cretins. Like a powerful eagle, he leaves his rivals in idiocy far below. And while I've talked about how terrible he is before (and how terrible Politico has become), his hits just keep coming.

Politico's Chief Political Columnist is quite interested in giving Sarah Palin appallingly bad advice (some of which she appears to have mistakenly followed, to expected results). But that's not all he has to say about Palin!

Here he is talking about the "Sins of Sarah Palin." As one might expect, this is pretty much a phoned-in piece of crap about how Palin offended the elites by being a rebel. When a conservative does something that looks incredibly stupid to everyone, of course it's just that they're being persecuted. It's not possible that they just made a completely stupid decision, right?

Sarah Palin is a sinner. She has violated several commandments and thoroughly deserves the savage beating that she is now getting from political mandarins and media elites.

If it were not for one simple fact, I would say she was through in politics. And that fact is that if the Republicans were picking a nominee today, they would pick Sarah Palin.

This guy writes about politics, don't forget. He's Politico's Chief Political Columnist. So when he notes her incredible popularity among the Republican base, it's kind of unforgivable that he doesn't bother to note that she is viewed ever-more-negatively by independents, the people who would make up a large proportion of any majority that could vote her into an actual office. Palin might have a future in broadcasting, but in politics it is important that you appeal to the majority, not just the 34% who call themselves Republicans.
Thou shalt not surprise the media.

Palin announces she is quitting her job as governor of Alaska, and she catches everybody by surprise. What is up with that?

Where were the leaks and the trial balloons? Why weren’t the media alerted so they could have predicted it?

Yeah. The media sure hates surprising and dramatic political moves.
Today, it is hard to see who the next guy in line is, but the party mandarins, the pooh-bahs, are agreed on one thing: Sarah Palin ain’t it.

She is a dumb hick, a nobody from nowhere. She hunts moose with a chainsaw from the back of a snowmobile or something. Just listen to her resignation speech. It was not slick or polished or written by somebody else. She appeared to deliver it off the top of her head as if she were a real person. What a doofus!

Doesn’t she know that the highest form of political communication today is to exactly regurgitate a speech written for you by a speechwriter who has crafted, vetted and polled every phrase, line and word?

It might be a little different if the speech had been good or made sense. No one would have given her crap for not having a perfectly polished speech if that were the case. But can anyone who actually watched the speech or read it really tell me it should be the effort of a career politician who is seriously considering a White House run? It was delivered breathlessly and almost too quickly to understand at times, and its content was bizarre and meandering. It was a resignation speech that didn't actually explain the reasons for resigning - which is why people have spent days trying to figure out why she left.

Politico's Chief Political Columnist talks of Palin's speech as if it were a raw but powerful statement from a leader; he calls her "plain-spoken." But obfuscating sports metaphors and poor quality don't make one "plain-spoken." But sometimes rough and stumbling isn't homey and humble, it's just bad. And this was a bad speech.

Simon has another recent column called "Political junkies, the doctor is in," which is a fake little "ask Dr. Politics" thing. It is also terrible. Roger Simon is terrible and awful.

His imaginary commentator asks why he praised Palin for quitting but attacked Sanford for quitting. Politico's Chief Political Columnist says that:
Sarah Palin, on the other hand, is giving up her state paycheck rather than rip off the taxpayers while she jets around the nation speaking at political dinners or taking trips to exotic locations to “encourage trade,” which is what governors usually do. Sure, she will make a bundle, but she won’t make it off the people of Alaska anymore.

So it's okay that she quit because she would have been a terrible governor anyway, jetting around and making money.

It does not seem to occur to Politico's Chief Political Columnist that an interesting alternative might have been Palin doing her job. I don't see why her only two alternatives were to quit or defraud the taxpayers. If I quit my job, can I explain by saying that I either had to quit or else steal office supplies?

Politico's Chief Political Columnist. Honest.

1 comment:

  1. Dahlia Lithwick had a really good column on Slate about the entire Palin... phenomenon.

    And that second Politico column was so bad it crashed the tab in IE. (Wait... maybe it means that IE is terrible too.)